Fat Shaming, what are your thoughts?

Be sure to read the whole way through, there may be points that raise ones hackles, but I think we can find some common ground. Fat shaming.  What are your thoughts?

I remember watching 80's movies and inevitably the "fat guy" is far less fat than what we call overweight in 2020.  Why is this?  Why has the culture shifted so much? Why has the condition (and I use "condition" defined as the state of something, I do not use it in any type of medical sense) of being overweight become normalized? There are two ways in which the culture has shifted as I observe it.  First, as a society, we are much more accepting of someone who is overweight and far less likely to make fun of them or ostracize them.  Second, we are also more likely to not even think of the condition as being a concern health-wise.  I view the first observation as generally positive and the second as detrimental. They did not have to shift together.  It is completely possible to simultaneously be compassionate and non-judgmental (and here I use judgmental in the sense of being overly critical, not simply regarding the ability to exercise judgment) over someone's size but also to recognize that as someone gains body fat they put themselves at risk for numerous health issues. Is it compassionate to overlook that?  To watch society and most likely close loved ones gain weight and be silent for fear of coming across as fat-shaming?  I would argue that we can love a person for who they are, but also be honest about the increased morbidity associated with excess bodyweight.  I would also argue that the pendulum has swung so far that someone who considers speaking up is almost shamed simply for speaking truth. Well, I speak the truth in facts.  Increased body fat puts a person at increased risk of high blood pressure, increased LDL, type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease, stroke, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, mental illness, body pain and more.  But better not tell someone about all of those risks, because if you do, you must be a fat shamer.  I cannot think of another area in life where we, as a society, value ignorance.  Regarding health issues, we are constantly being informed of the health risks of smoking.  We are being told about the various dietary choices that put us more at risk for various cancers.  We have an entire month devoted just to breast cancer.   Keeping someone ignorant is not compassionate.  If we withheld an education from our children they'd be taken from us by the government because we would be deemed unfit parents.  But feed your child until they are obese and everyone turns a blind eye. That's the saddest part about all of this.  It's one thing for an adult to make their own choices, but often we see obesity starting very young.  Often at an age when the child does not know better.  The child cannot go grocery shopping they do not have the means, financially or physically.  The child is not logging their food intake on My Fitness Pal.  The child does not understand the relationship of macronutrients, micronutrients and exercise choices to their body weight.   What would you say to parents who gave their child cigarettes and alcohol?  Certainly, you would not be afraid to speak up.  So I come back to my original questions.   Why has the culture shifted so much?  And why has being overweight become normalized? I would argue that it is simple percentages in this case.  It was easy to shame a behavior (and yes, it is active behavioral choices that lead to obesity) that only occurred in small fraction of the population.  In 1980 12.7% of the population was obese.  By 2018, it was 42.4%; 3.5 times greater!

If you watched a trend get 3.5 times more popular until it encompassed nearly half of the population, it goes without saying that it would change the way we view and discuss it.  We, as a culture, tend to be more accepting as we are confronted with a behavior.  This can be both good and bad.  There were definitely ways in which our culture needed to be more accepting of certain behaviors (think interracial marriages, gender/race voting rights, etc.) and we can generally see this trend as we look at history.  And of course, it someone is overweight, they need to be loved and treated with the same dignity that you would give any other person.  However, treating someone with respect is not the same as acceptance of a behavior that puts them at increased risk for numerous health conditions.   I would like to see another pendulum shift.  A shift away from this false idea that accepting a person means accepting all of their behaviors.  You who are parents, do you love your child even when they talk back to you?  Of course!  You love the child or person, but not the behavior.   Forget about other people for a moment, anyone can conduct a simple experiment right now.  Look inside yourself and identify your worst behaviors (scary isn't it?).  If you have a pulse, you have quite a few behaviors you are not proud of and it didn't take you long to recall them either.  Now, think of your loved ones.  Do you want your loved ones to love you in spite of those behaviors?  Yes.  But, do you want your loved ones to love you because of them?  Embracing your worst behaviors as simply something that is a part of you?  Hopefully not.  We desire loved ones who will help us to become the best possible versions of ourselves, not enable us to slide into bad habits. Proverbs 27:6 states, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy." Whether we admit it or not, we all desire a trustworthy friend who will be honest with us and tell us what we don't want to hear.  I am not pretending it's easy to be on the giving or receiving side of honest feedback.  But I'd rather have honesty than fake flattery any day.  

No one ever grew into a better person from the kisses of an enemy.